Last chance!

We are in the middle of what will be our last cycle for the forseeable future.  At my CD 3 baseline appt I had a small cyst on each ovary.  Although my nurse assured me it's not a big deal I think it's my bodies way of saying it needs a break.  Well honestyly, I'm using that as an excuse.  I need a break!  Also, I'm switching to health insurance through school and I'm sure it's going to suck so we've decided if this cycle is a BFFN then we will take a break to regroup and decide what to do next.  Maybe save for IVF?  Maybe take a vacation?  I'm not really sure at this point.

Anyway, I'm CD 10 today and just trucking along with my daily injections.  It's funny that at this point I could do it with my eyes closed.  I hardly even feel it (well most of the time).  I had an u/s and b/w this morning with not much to report.  I'm hoping by Wednesday I'll have a better idea of how this cycle will be and when my IUI will be.  I'm crossing my fingers for Saturday 11/19 or Sunday 11/20 so I can be done with all this before my trip to TN for Thanksgiving.  Fingers crossed!

IF makes me feel so alone

Not sure if it's the PMS, but I'm feeling really alone.  I have so much going on in my head right now and noone to talk to.  I usually talk to my friend Julie but she always has something really positive to say but it unfortunately has nothing to do with reality or is just "puppies & rainbows".  I don't do over-the-top positivity.  I do realistic.  Sometimes it's easier to remind myself of the realistic chances I have than to convince myself that this will work.  If I'm convinced, then the BFN is that much harder to take.  Don't get me wrong, I try to remain positive and remind myself there IS a chance but it can go either way.

My other confidante in my IF struggle is my BFF Kelly.  She is one of the few people I've told of our struggle that hasn't said something stupid or offensive to me about it.  She has never told me to relax or made me feel like it's my fault.  She is just entering her 2nd trimester with her 2nd baby.  Oddly, I feel like I can't talk to her about IF anymore considering she is due at the same time I would of been if my cycle with 3 great follies had worked.  It's just too painful and I feel like a total loser.  I also don't want to be Debbie Downer while she's pregnant.

FUIF!!!